Wednesday, October 31, 2007

For Lady Hawk, the Teacher

These are comments made on students' report cards by teachers in our public school system.

All teachers were reprimanded, but they are still funny!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

2 comments:

Lady Hawk said...

My dear Mr. Tiger,
What a thrill to be the center of a BLOG by you! Thank you very much! I desparately needed your humor! (I rather liked the one about about the student who'd have to be watered if he were any dimmer.) Mr. Tiger, I will be lucky not to get fired before I retire because of political correctness. Again, thank you for dedicating a BLOG to me. I am thoroughy thrilled!

Tiger said...

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IS FASCISM!